Child’s play

(http://cbsla.files.wordpress.com/2012/12/lakers_158790151.jpg?w=300)

I don’t have kids, but I did spend now owe $70,000 to college and grad school so that I can teach them, which also means I can talk about them with some sense of authority. So, in an effort to remain rational over the Portland Trail Blazers being put in timeout by the Los Angeles Lakers, I will simply think about it in terms of a child growing up.

From the tip Portland was out hustled, pushed around and overall outplayed by a smarter veteran team in the Lakers who seem to really be understanding how important Steve Nash is to the entire aim of what they want to accomplish. Nash set the tempo early by pushing the ball, cutting to the lane, and hitting open teammates in stride. In fact, because Nash had set such an immaculate tempo, I stopped taking notes after the first quarter when it became clearer than me shirtless on a beach the stats and narrative weren’t going to change as the game progressed: Portland shot jumpers, the Lakers got to the paint. Portland walked the ball up, while the Lakers ran with purpose and intent of executing a scheme. In short, the Lakers were the grown up and Portland was the child.

This is technically fine because Portland is playing a little over their head right now anyway. Before Friday night’s jostling, had the playoffs started Portland would have been the 8^th seed in the Western Conference, while the Lakers would be out. Which is quite the jump from where people thought either team would be at this point in the season.

However, like children, who often progress in giant leaps but then remain stagnant for a while, Portland proved stagnant Friday night; it’s during those stagnant times, when other children are performing feats you know your child is capable of, that you need to remain calm and patient. Don’t compare their kid to yours, your parenting to theirs. Instead focus on the good your kid is performing. Remember they are proving to be much brighter and capable than you’d expected—don’t focus on the fact they were closing out in a way that allowed easy access to the paint where the Lakers feasted the entire night. Don’t focus on how, even though Portland had fewer turnovers, the Lakers had more points off turnovers. And definitely don’t focus on Nicolas Batum and Damian Lillard only making nine field goals between the two of them, and one three-pointer.

That type of comparison between children at different ability levels can drive you nuts and ends with you trying to force multiplication tables on your four-year-old.

Portland actually kept pace with the Lakers shot-wise. Portland shot 87 times, while LA shot 86. Not to mention the Blazers, normally a 33% three-point shooting team, shot 3-19 against the Lakers from three. That, and Portland gave the Lakers twelve more free throw attempts, resulting in five extra points. The Lakers won because they played better, but Portland is also capable of playing better, too.

This game was a learning curve for the youngens. It’s why you don’t track a seven-year-old and place them in TAG if they show promise or hold them back if they seem confused. It takes time with children to really figure out what they’re capable of, and it’ll take time with this team as well.

On a night where the Lakers retired Jamaal Wilkes’s jersey to their hallowed rafters, it made sense that Portland came out looking like a team that’s only won one championship in their franchise’s history, while Los Angeles coasted to victory. That being said, Los Angeles also showed why they started the night behind Portland in the standings: they took advantage of an undersized team with young, inexperienced players by doing nothing entirely special. LA’s problems are still apparent and will get them in time.

Portland, on the other hand, has another opportunity to hopefully prove they are continuing to grow when they get ready for Philadelphia next. Juices boxes up!

There will be days when you want boast, pull their picture out of your wallet and brag about how far they can walk all on their own. Then there will be days you’re embarrassed they’re still wearing a diaper. But when they crap their pants, like Portland did, you’ll be happy the cleanup is manageable.

Opening night heals all wounds

Ripping off a band-aid is one of the more painful things someone can do to themselves. Obviously, in the pantheon of pain, it pails in comparison, but as far as menial acts that hurt more because you’re aware that you’re doing this to yourself, it’s right up there with punching a wall or wearing a Kangol hat backwards. As you stare, waiting for the proper time to act, dissecting where the most hair is connected to the adhesive, planning your attack, you’re reminded of the pain that it took to get to this point, as well as the future pain that’s sure to come; but you also know taking care of it early will be the best thing. Tense anticipation brings with it an immediate sense of terror, but also satisfaction—the satisfaction that what you endured will be worth it in the end.

You rip off band-aids because you know the pain is only temporary and the healing won’t fully begin until the wound is exposed.

So with tomorrow’s opening game against the Lakers staring Blazer fans in the face, we must hold our collective breath, grab an end, and give it a big, quick rrrrrip (city).

I’m on record as noting that this season will not merely be a bad one for Portland (anyone with rudimentary knowledge of the league’s makeup can see that), I think they’ll flail valiantly as they attempt to play defense in any respectable way. They may be able to put up some points—although I’m still dubious considering they have no proven scorer beyond Lamarcus Aldridge—but their defensive inefficiencies are going to hamstring them throughout the season. Especially when you consider that most every other team has a go-to guy that guarantees them a bucket when necessary… and the Lakers have four.

That being said, my allegiance should be clear: I want this team to do well. As the Blazers go, so does my livelihood as a fan. I hurt most when they lose, and triumph highest when they perform well. Like most fans, I’ve ripped more than a few band-aids off in my lifetime, so even though there is still a twinge of pain with every wound, I’ve become rather callous as a result, expecting to cringe and grimace. I’ll be glued to my couch watching on Wednesday, throwing mini tantrums at bad calls, pumping my fist to celebrate good ball movement, as well as constantly wishing Mike Rice would shut the hell up. You know, just like any other typical game.

As a man, and a fan, it’s the scars that define me. Every fan I know eventually is put in a Jaws situation where they lift their shirts and roll up their pant legs to showoff where they’ve been hurt the most, always trying to outdo the others in the room. Blazer fans have quite the Braille affixed to them, but in the end, those scars amount to the journey it took to get them to the glorified end. In this case, for this season, that end is not sprinkled with championships (even though Bill Simmons predicted playoffs; a move that wreaked of attempting to please Blazersedge fans so that they wouldn’t bombard him with emails), but instead will be measured by growth. All we’re hoping for is the opportunity to say that we’re better in the end having gone through it. That the pain was worth it and the wound is healing.

Another off-season will mean another off season

I’m a victim of my circumstance; I never had a chance, and yet, I still get blindsided whenever it happens. I believe in what could be while willfully choosing to forget what actually is, and has been, in every instance since the dawn of my inception, as well as the unfortunate past that those like me that experienced it first and have toiled in longer than I.

I am a Blazers fan.

I was excited by the prospect of what could be because that’s the only way I can maintain optimism: never through what is.

Yet, I have resigned myself to the recent malaise of shit that happened throughout this (potentially promising) offseason. The results of which were as close to the worse possible circumstance that could have played out. The Trail Blazers started the summer with cap room, two lottery picks to use in the draft, and a vacant coaching position; Not to mention the vacant presidency that came available later in the process. There was a chance to actually start over. To actually move forward. Although chances in Rip City often result in nothing more than opportunity to screw up.

In the NBA, you either want to be great or terrible, never in-between. Portland had the opportunity to work towards great but were then overcome by the avalanche of inevitably that came tumbling down and resulted in continued ineptitude.

That being said, the summer started with a surprising run at a legit center in Roy Hibbert, but with it also came an almost immediate certainty that Indiana would match the offer. (Even if they played a momentary game of chicken that only yanked at the hope strings of the Blazer fan-base.) That was pretty much the end of the good feelings for Portland and their plans. The way they acted as a result makes me wonder had they actually signed Hibbert would they even know what to do next because there didn’t seem to be a Plan B ever in place? Hell, even dip shit college girls and guys with short shorts and gelled tips under their tethered hats know there should always be a Plan B, but not a multimillion dollar sports franchise? I’ll be damned if, “Don’t Offer Batum Anything Until Someone Else Does,” was their ultimate second plan. And if it was, then they deserve the regret of their unplanned child. (Too much?)

Anyway, after whiffing on Hibbert, the Batum saga played out as poorly as you could have hoped for if you are a fan: he’s now (over)paid like a number one option but has never proven to be anything but the third best player on the court. Ever. He alienated the fans by never fully committing to wanting, unequivocally, to stay in Portland. (And if you think they’ll forget… Rudy Fernandez, anyone?) And to top it all off, our management and ownership once again proved to be nothing more than conniving, petty assholes that tried to bully their way into other owners not making us pay more than we have to.

How about this instead of throwing a tantrum… if he wasn’t worth the money that they were going to give him, then don’t pay it.

After we overpaid Batum, and subsequently watched him take a huge pupu during the Olympics, we then had a coaching search that I’m not even sure the extended family members of the candidates even cared about. Such uninspiring choices battled out to be the guy that coaches for four years and then gets fired because the team either gets better and “needs new blood” or continues to inevitably fall. Awesome. But hey, at least we reached out to Jerry Sloan, Phil Jackson, and the Van Gundy brothers assuming that they would be impressed by all the nothing we did over this time period.

Was that simply to say that we had? To look like they tried?

I honestly don’t know because if we actually did want them to be a part of the organization (doubtful, by the way, since the owner is a narcissistic super-villain that hates personalities bigger than his), then why didn’t we tell Phil Jackson, “We’re sad that you’ve denied our coaching vacancy, but we’d love to have you as our President since you’ve shown interest. A basketball mind like yours is definitely worth having around”? I think that at this point Portland is your buddy that’s only ever had bad relationships, assumes all relationships are bad and that that’s the only type they can have. Sure they share an ideal of what a real relationship should be, but they sure don’t actively look for it.

Awesome. Those people are great to be around.

Everyone loves sitting around during a group dinner and spending the majority of the evening trying to convince them that they are worth something and they shouldn’t settle for the douche bag that’s gonna wreck them further — that’s why I was thoroughly convinced that after the exhaustive coaching search they would settle on rehiring Caleb Kanales. Just another rope-a-dope that makes management look like they’re trying.

At this point why doesn’t the organization simply take the plot from Eddie and hire out fans as coaches for every home game? Or just hire Whoopi Goldberg for real? At least then we’d know where this team is going.

I shouldn’t be surprised. I am disappointed, however. They took another salacious opportunity of “What Could’ve Been” and merely parlayed it into “What Will Always Be.”

They remained a victim of circumstance; in retrospect, they too never had a chance to be anything but disappointed. To have anything other than a typical Portland Trail Blazers off-season.

Blazers draft/off-season ideas, Part 2

Here is part two of what this summer hopefully will be for the Trail Blazers… (Please read Part 1 if you missed it yesterday.)

3. Ne pas dépenser sur le Nicolas Batum

Don’t overspend on Nicoals Batum! Oklahoma City does it the right way and spends money on young players that have proven to be good with the potential to be great. Someone will probably make Batum one hell of a deal that we’ll have to consider matching. The difference is that that team probably thinks one of two things: either one, he’s the missing piece to their almost championship team, or two, he’s better than he actually is. In this market Nicolas Batum should not be making more than $9 million a year. Maybe he proves he’s worth more by the time the next contract comes up, but right now he is simply a nice player who can be the fourth best player on a championship team.

Hell, his destiny may just be as a future sixth man extraordinaire. He is not a superstar and shouldn’t be payed like one.

I know that Blazer fans are worried of being bitten by letting a player go before they realize their potential, but we need to stand our ground on this one and make sure to understand that if Nicolas Batum is our second highest payed player, then we will not be in title contention for the duration of that contract.

Instead…

4. Target Eric Gordon or O.J. Mayo

The main reason I liked having Jamal Crawford is that it’s been forever since Portland had a player that when he shot, I thought it was going in. Every time. Doesn’t matter that it wasn’t necessarily working for him this season because, really, nothing was working for anyone — the entire organization just continued to stare at their impotent manhoods and simply pray it started to twitch… besides Greg Oden, of course. (Easy jokes can be funny too.) And yet, if you thought about it, you could conjure up at least a half-dozen examples of when Crawford made incredible, unfathomable shots. He’s a scorer. The next one’s going in.

These two guys, Gordon and Mayo, are younger versions of Crawford in that regard (and Gordon’s probably better right now).

Now, I understand that spending money on a player with an injury history only adds to the Memento corollary, but I’m not sure there’s anyone out there that’s going to argue Eric Gordon isn’t a breakout star waiting to happen. Both he and Mayo can command attention on the wing and score as naturally as Ryan Gosling willing droves of women to remove their panties. (Well, maybe not that naturally, but that man’s a freak of nature. It was an unfair comparison to begin with.)

If Portland was able to spend their cap space correctly on two of the four players already mentioned (Nash, Batum, Gordon or Mayo), coupled with a good draft, this would be a great off-season.

But it still wouldn’t be enough. The last thing on Portland’s list should be…

5. Get Lamarcus Aldridge another star

Just like Batum can’t be your second highest paid player, Lamarcus can’t be your best. He’s made great strides, and he’s my personal favorite current Blazer (since draft day, if you please), but he is not ready to be the man that takes a team to a championship. He can definitely be your second option, but he’s not consistent enough to be the first. I’m hard-pressed to think of a time when Lamarcus took over a game like true superstars do. Talent-wise he’s probably in the top 15 right now in the league, only the top 6 can take their team on their own, everyone else has to do so with better players around them. And, unfortunately, I don’t think Aldridge will ever get there. I don’t see him commanding the ball consistently, barking at players not doing their jobs, or ever eventually getting to the point where he just says, “screw this, get on my back and let’s close this thing out.” No, unfortunately right now he seems likely to fulfill a little more of the potential Rasheed Wallace had.

However, if Nash comes on board, then it works because he becomes your best player and will do his damnedest to turn Lamarcus into Amar’e Stoudemire with a jump shot. But (more realistically) if they strike out on that option, then there needs to be a conversation about packaging players for another actual star. The list includes, from greatest to least.

Pau Gasol: This one probably can’t happen, but at least you know that the Lakers are looking. Packaging a lottery pick with Wes Matthews and possibly Nic Batum should get this done. You might be overpaying a little, but you’d be getting another top 20 player. Plus, Pau likes to play on the block, so Lamarcus could venture out from time to time without causing the same problems that plague Gasol and Bynum in LA.

Joe Johnson: Granted he’s probably the most over-payed player in the league, but he matches what is necessary — a scorer unafraid to take big shots, you can run an offense through him, and he can play multiple positions. Not to mention that if we just sent Atlanta a slew of 6’6” wing players looking to get their own stats, you know they’d take it.

Andre Igoudala or Rudy Gay: Both are seemingly interchangeable, expendable pieces that are playing on team’s that think they can win without them. Igoudala is only 28, and could probably be had in exchange for a much cheaper Nic Batum as a starting point, while Rudy Gay may be a little more difficult to get considering the players/assets that Portland has to give up, the Grizzlies already have and are better in comparison. Do you give up the #11 for him? If you think that player will never be any more than one of the best 30 players in the league, then yes.

Again, though, an unconscionable star player able to get his own shots and (wait for it…) plays both ends of the court. Both of these players are already where you want Batum to be, and they’re under 30 making them worth the risk.

Josh Smith: Perhaps the best player on this list (even with Gasol included), but I’m not sure how his and Aldridge’s games would compliment one another? That, and if all of your fire power is in the post (where Smith finally forced himself to be last season), but you have no one to get them the ball, then I’m not sure what good it does? But his talent can’t be questioned, and if you didn’t have to give up too much (Think Wes Matthews, Luke Babbitt and $3 million in cash… maybe a pick if necessary, just protect it better than New jersey did) then you roll the dice on this every time.

Kevin Martin: By all accounts this could happen today. Houston is trying to get pieces and assets to trade for Dwight Howard. Find an asset that you’re willing to give up and send it Houston’s way and get a twenty-nine year-old efficient scorer back in return.

Carmelo Anthony: … stay away from Melo. Not that this is a possibility anyway, but it’s been proven that he’s not ready to share the ball enough when it matters to ever get what he needs to out of his teammates. The only time he did anything resembling that was when Denver made their run a few years ago, but he knew he had to listen to Chauncey Billups or he would get pelted with a bag of batteries.

Two other tiny moves that could be done: re-sign J.J. Hickson to a reasonable deal. If nothing else we could have a J.J.O.J.LMA starting lineup to look forward to; Re-sign Jamal Crawford (especially if you can trade Wes Matthews).

Whatever happens, please stop talk about creating our own “Big Three” this summer. You know why Miami has a Big Three? Because all three of those players are top 15 players! The likelihood of getting together another group within that company is slim and not the only recipe for a championship. If you remember, a team beat them last year when Dallas simply got it in their heads that they were better than them. Oklahoma lost, yes, but are you reading anything that says people don’t expect them to have another shot sometime soon? And yes, they have three great talents, but those three also have defense and shooters around them to help with the burden when necessary. (They also have a coach. Which just seems like a weird idea over here, apparently.) A Big Three means that you have at least three options that you feel comfortable with. We have one. We need more.

In the end, all that matters is that on draft day and beyond this team gives their fans something to be happy about, something to look forward to. We’re a bleeding-heart group that desperately wants to know the feeling of success again. Too many times and for too long have we been teased with the temptation that we might be good enough only to go down in a crumbling heap atop our own fragile expectations.

Blazers draft/off-season ideas Part 1

History seems to repeat itself here in the Trail Blazers organization. (See: Injures, and Almost Superstars Clyde Drexler and Brandon Roy.) Often times though that means the wrong thing, so let’s take a moment and hope for the right kind of history repeating itself on Thursday. Just like in 2006, this team has two lottery picks and a new GM that last time were able to strike, at least, fool’s gold which perpetuated the fantasy of a championship team for a few more years. I wouldn’t mind being duped again if it meant there was a fleeting chance of achieving something. It’s the Memento corollary: every so often Blazer fans are reminded of the shit they’ve been through, but we do what we can to forget about our past in order to become blissfully ignorant in hopes of figuring out the future.

So, what can we do to hide this painful truth tattoo and work towards a new reality? Well, unfortunately we have to get on board with our new GM, a man who recently helped steer the ship of the ever-sturdy Los Angeles Clippers. Admittedly, that might not be a fair comment to make since most all of LA’s problems start and end with their stubborn, out-of-touch, seemingly incompetent, power-hungry owner.

… thinking … waiting … realizing … fuck.

This is also the same an who the verbal rub n’ tug to unproven interim coach, Kaleb Canales, during his own induction press conference. (More on that later.)

Fortunately we do have two lottery picks that are going to be essential in recreating our future since last year’s signing of Jamal Crawford was, arguably, the best free agent this franchise has ever signed. Ever. In the over forty years this franchise has been in existence. Think about it, not including resigning our own players, but actually luring players to Portland without them ever playing for us, who have we left the summer with and felt like we did something worthwhile? And you gotta think that with the way Jamal was treated over the season, perhaps there’s no reason to believe in ti happening again. The daft is our best option to recreate the team.

That being said, this is what keeps Portland weird: we think we have a legit chance in free agency regardless.

The obvious holes on this team are, well, everywhere. But let’s focus on the five that, if filled, should (should) bring everything up to code:

1. We need a point guard

Do you realize that we haven’t had a great point guard since Terry Porter? Damon Stoudamire might be my favorite basketball player of all time (because I like under-sized point guards that make just enough shots to make you forget that he’s not a great shooter, or that he completely careened his career coming over here and being harnessed by that jackass Mike Dunleavy), but there’s no way Damon was a better point guard than Porter, even with his promising Rookie of the Year start to his career. And don’t me started on Andre “I Hate The World And Am Not Good Enough To Act Like A Stubborn Ass” Miller. What we need is someone that inspires confidence and is able to facilitate the game and know the difference of when it is necessary to get other people involved by getting them open looks in spots they feel comfortable in versus when they need to over. You know, a point guard.

I don’t care about the youth movement, or that I just weakly made the argument that Portland can’t draw free agents, the Trail Blazers need to push for Steve Nash. I’m tired of “veteran leadership” meaning players that don’t get on the court. I know, I know, Juwon Howard just won a championship (sarcasm), but perhaps players like that don’t actually make the difference that’s necessary since, you know, they can’t make any difference that’s necessary. How about a radical idea where you build a team around people that already have shown to be competent and have them teach the youngens? Draft Weber State point guard Damian Lillard with the 6th pick if he’s available and have Nash teach him how to see the court at the NBA level. Then, three years from now when Nash’s contract is up and he retires (or continues to play until he’s 84 because he’s found the magic within no eating gluten and instead just consuming his own aura), Lillard should be ready to take over for good.

Plus, all reports seem to indicate that he’s interested in Portland. Strike while the iron is hot. Bring his Canadian ass a little closer north where we also like soccer and long hair.

2. How about a coach?

I get getting rid of Nate McMillan. You blew up the team and didn’t want for another two-three months of whispers and rumors about his future that he would have to deflect after every game. But so help me god if Kaleb Canales is retained as the head coach of a team that you hope to build into something, I’ll be spending the rest of the summer focusing on how to internally combust if that’s the case.

This is a perfect summer for both free agency and hiring a new coach. Both plentiful and robust. Speaking of which, hire Stan Van Gundy.

Yes, he would be more outspoken than owner Paul Allen has been able to handle over the past (ever) 10 years; to be fair though, at this point if that kid from “Oliver” came and asked for more porridge, I’m pretty sure Paul Allen would skip the offended “More?!” rebuttal and simply fire the kid from the orphanage. Yet, it’s not like this would be an enormous deviation from Van Gundy’s last place of employment. That’s kind of why he’s perfect: he’s knowledgeable, he’s professional in that he just wants to focus on the job at hand, and he’s remarkably unflappable. In fact I’m pretty sure that this exchange would happen during the hiring process:

Paul Allen: “You know, if you take this job, at some point I’m going to hint that we don’t get along but never give any reason as to why, especially if you’re doing well. Please just know that it’ll be because people are probably praising you too much and I don’t feel that my money is being given the right amount of credit.”

Stan Van Gundy: “You’re not going after Dwight Howard, right? … Where do I sign?”

If you hire Stan Van Gundy, Portland becomes a player, instantly. He knows how to coach and get the best out of the talent that’s given to him. He doesn’t get bogged down in gossip and hearsay, though he will answer questions honestly if asked making it seems like he does.

As bad as we are right now, we’re not Charlotte. We have some pieces, so we don’t need to go searching for the next great coach. Instead, let’s utilize the knowledge available to us and hire someone known to be good at his job with an emphasis on defense.

(I’m actually splitting this into two parts. Partially because I want something new up closer to the draft, but mostly because 1,200 words is enough to read from someone that has no credentials other than “I woke up early enough to type this.”)